Day 37

Today is day 37 of our school year.  I just returned home from a church meeting and thought I would document how things are going.  I will be honest, today was a difficult day.  Some days are just harder than others. I think it was a combination of things.  Last week we took a week off for a fall break.  We have been very consistent with our school work and I have found that a week off after 8 weeks is needed.  The break is both a blessing and a curse.  A blessing, because it allows me to get caught up on planning and preparing for the next 6-7 weeks until we are off for Christmas.  It's a curse, because the following week, we have to get back into the routine.  I think today was difficult because we are still getting back into the swing of things.  Today I lost my patience.   My children weren't motivated and I felt like a nag.  I don't like nagging.  By the end of Taylor's math lesson, I was exhausted and tired of working with an unmotivated child. 

Don't get me wrong, I adore my children.  I love them with all my heart, but a parent can only take so much whining before they lose it.  I'm sad to say that I lost it.  It's days like this that I ask myself... why am I doing this?  Every day is different with something new to learn, not only for my kids but for me as well. I am learning a lot about myself throughout this process.  I am seeing all of my flaws, which is very difficult, but I am also seeing great miracles which remind me that I am moving in the right direction.  I have to remember that learning is often times difficult because we are being stretched, refined, and molded into something better.  I want to be better.  I want to be a better teacher, mother and friend.  Tonight Tay gave me a hug and told me, "I love you mom!  Please be my teacher."  Tomorrow is a new day.  I am grateful I get to try again.